Sticks and Stones may break my bones (Part 1)

So I was supposed to be studying on YouTube (Bad idea btw) and I chanced upon a video a classmate had shared on her wall. It was a moving experiment, conducted by a couple of high school students, to see how many people would react to bullying. It shocked me that many people chose to be passive and out of the 15 or so people in front of whom the experiment was conducted, 2 or 3 of them stood up for the victim. If you were to think about that statistically, a chilling 98% of people would choose to be passive while bullying occurs.

Here is the video

Related links to that video, was a TED talk on bullying. Now, I know TED talks face a lot of criticism, but They are a lot more to do with the speaker than the phenomenon of TED themselves... So I'll leave it at that. The speaker for the night was a person I did not know of. He was rotund, had brown hair and a beard and wore glasses. He hunched his shoulders, slouched in his posture, but standing there, he was the bravest man I will have ever seen. He had a way with words that caused me to bawl when he spoke of his experience in high school.

A phrase was repeated in the course of the TED talk- "Kids are cruel."

This was true.

It made me think of my own experience in high school.

When people all around me speak of fond memories of high school, I often listen with a sardonic smile. I do not reply, but I refrain from sharing any. When asked of my memories of school, I reply with a light smile "Too many to think of."

And it was true, in a twisted way.

You see, I was always different. I now realize that I am different in a good way... But at the time, it felt like a punishment that my pen could spin beautiful poems and the most vividly descriptive narratives. It felt like a curse that I did not like talking, simply because it was in my nature. Countless people have made recommendations to my mother that I see a psychiatrist. I suppose the world simply can't stand it when it sees someone who simply does not know how to fit into a cookie cutter and be part of the crowd.

And I tried.

I tried endlessly to fit in but somehow, I just could not. I was different you see. While the world supposedly "welcomes" different for my first school was never quite in the picture. My friends are always people who like to talk simply because they know I like to listen. Different, by the way, always invites bullies.

Now, I must mention at this juncture, that the first school I studied in was a school which was quite classy. Had a good reputation. People at parties would give you respectable nods if you told them you studied in that school; outwardly, there was nothing wrong with it. The students I came in contact with were alarmingly identical to one another, enjoying the same TV shows, scoring good grades, having ambitions of being doctors and engineers and sobbing profusely when they received test scores. I still remember how I would be looked upon like an alien simply because I knew I'd gotten what I deserved where test scores were concerned and I wouldn't antagonize myself over it.

The problem however, is that different always invites bullies.

I still remember in Eighth grade, there was a new girl in my class. I was so intimidated by her. She was thin and cool and had short shiny black hair. She was an ace at sports and had the best grades. She effortlessly made friends. To sum it up, she was everything I wasn't.

But she was also something that I swear to God, I never will be.

I remember this one incident vividly. She asked me to smell my palm to see if there was the smell of Vibuthi (holy ash) on her hand and she just palmed my nose, punching me hard and all her friends around her burst out laughing. I walked away silently, nearly in tears, feeling like an utter idiot so that she would look cool in front of her friends for a few minutes. A few years later, a friend of mine would tell me what a sweetheart that bully was, and how they would all study together. I would never comment. She never bullied anyone else. I was her sole target.

Why didn't I stand up for myself?

I didn't know how to.

I joined school a year early and everyone was older than me. I just felt so scared and intimidated. I had no clear idea of who I was. I took to my pen as refuge. It was my safe tent from the storm. I would churn out poetry that is way more intense than normal "teen angst." As a woman now, I'm not sure if I can produce the same intensity in my poems or my writing again. I was lucky to always have English teachers who saw me for who I really was, and encouraged my talent at the right time. If it weren't for them, my writing would be hidden under my bed and beneath floorboards. Some teachers at my school were and continue to be an inspiration to me to do my best and that anything less is simply unacceptable.

To anyone who is interested, this is Shane Koyczan's TED talk.

In a way, it was my pen that saved me. I have gone to the brink of death and back and have dealt with self harm also. I used to buy a razor blade for 5 rupees and cut and cut because I never felt good enough. I still have the scars on my body. I don't think there will dawn a day where  I will be ashamed of them. I will never ever advocate self harm, because it is the worst thing a person can do to herself/himself and nothing, I repeat my beloved readers. NOTHING IS A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO INDULGE IN IT. However, I will always be proud of my scars, because they made me who I am today, and they serve me as a constant reminder of what comes out of undermining oneself and one's own attitude.

However... My tryst with bullying did not end there.

Keep watching this space for more

Summer

Summer is my favourite time of the year. Its absolutely magical. As long as you're a student, summer will always be that magical time of the year, when there's no exams to study for, no classes to attend, and nothing in general to care about. That time of the year when the extroverts get their shorts out and the population at the beach increases by exponential numbers.

Though an introvert at heart, there are times when I absolutely cannot resist summer's call at times. When I go out, I almost always come back home tired because of the heat, but that rarely stops me from going out in the heat, next time around. There's just something so inspiring and carefree about summer, about the memories you make. Summer is equated to memories by many people. If you're young, this is very true. You have the freedom to go out with your friends, step outside and enjoy a warm summer's evening stroll, go to an outdoor café and catch up with your best friend (how about getting in touch with one you haven't talked to in a while?), look up at the sky and see the moon and stars, roaming the spaces unhinged. You realize, at that time, how small you really are, and I've often observes that that simply deepens my desire to live life in the manner that I want to live it, to make the most of the time that I have here, on this planet. As and when I can.

And of course, summer always means endless hours of relaxation for me, whenever I'm not going out. I see a lot of people use Facebook to post statuses about how much fun they had and proof in the form of photos and check ins. I see people tweeting about it all the time. The thing is, many people don't understand that the essence of a vacation can also be captured at home.Summer can be enjoyed from home too! You can enjoy the sweetest most tender mangoes, you can sit back and sip iced tea, lay on your balcony with your favourite novel, go to the terrace and sit on top of the water tank and watch the sun set.

Summer treasures start from your backyard and stretch the length of the infinity and beyond. It all lies in how you decide to enjoy it! So go out there, vacation with your family, enjoy mangoes, hang out with your friends, wear your favourite floppy hats and big sunglasses. Get out there, on the streets, walking around for no reason other than for the fact that its summer, and you're young, and simply because, you can.

The lazy student's guide to acing exams!

If you're a true lazy student at heart, You would've come across this situation at LEAST once....

So you walk into class, cool as a cucumber, its monday, and you've just got back to school after a weekend of chillin. As you walk into the classroom, a relaxed smile on your face (and no books in your hands), you look around and something suddenly dawns upon you. Everyone is revising or discussing something or something like that, in a panicked frenzied state. You stare blankly ahead, trying to wonder what you're missing, when your  best friend bounds up to you and suddenly rattles off about how she/he had no time to cover the full syllabus, and blah blah

And you're like, "What exam?"

Well, fear not fellow lazy students! It's finally here! The guide you've all been waiting for! The Lazy Student's guide to acing an exam! (Note: Some amount of preparation might be required)

10. Find out what exam it is.

Whether you find out the day/night/morning before the exam, make sure you get the exam subject right. If you find that you just "happen" to have a series of exams, make sure you get your hands on a copy of the time table, and ensure that the dates are correct, and not mixed up. If there's anything worse than not preparing for an exam, or being unaware that you have an exam, its preparing for the wrong subject :-|


9. Work with the limited time that you have.

So it all boils down to how much time you have before the exam. Do you have one day, one hour, half an hour, twenty minutes? Whatever it is, make sure that you DON'T PANIC and learn whatever you can.

8. Material

You're working on limited time here! Get your hands on whatever material you can, to at least do a little bit of reading, whether its a textbook, some notes from your friends, or a quick discussion with them, ensure that you get at least a little bit into your head

7. Keep calm

The easiest and most natural reaction is to panic.

Err sorry, wrong poster, but you get the point...

{Although in retrospect, I must say, learning to fly would be a pretty darn useful skill, at that point of time}


6. Manipulate

There is no way on Earth you can pass any exam (with or without any preparation) without manipulating your answers. Its simply not enough if you know information, what really matters, is how you manipulate the untrained viewer into thinking that you know more than you actually do.

5. Additional sheets

It really doesn't matter if you're writing proper answers, or the script of Dil Toh Pagal Hai. An additional sheet can be crucial in making a good impression. When a person picks up your paper to correct it, and sees an additional sheet trailing along with it, he/she will soften a little. It doesn't matter even if you use only the first side/page of the additional sheet. This really matters.

4. Attempt to answer all questions

It doesn't matter all that much if you actually know the answer to the question or not, one of the keys to passing an exam, is simply attempting all the answers. Make your answers look detailed and long winded. This might impress the person correcting your paper.

3. Never strike things out

This may be extremely difficult for many people (Including myself) but teachers hate it when students score things out. It looks untidy and also gives the impression of a lack of confidence. If you make a mistake, and need to strike a word out, then do so lightly with a pencil. If you need to strike out a passage, draw a line before and after the paragraph in question and draw two neat ruler lines through the passage, striking it out neatly.

2. Rarely...

In the rare occasion that you come across an answer that you do know, write all that you know about it. Highlight, underline, use key phrases, make sure you give the examiner  one hell of an answer to correct!

1.Black pen is your new best friend

Important phrases make or break an answer, and the best part is, if these important phrases are highlighted with a black pen, chances are, the rest of your paltry blue pen answer will go ignored, hence earning you marks for what appears to be, a well thought out, thoroughly revised answer.

NOTE
1. I strongly condone cheating, however, if you can do it without getting caught, go right ahead.
2. There are rare cases in which, teachers actually read the answers that you write. In that case.... God help you...
3. When a teacher stands behind you, staring into your paper, don't freak out, just smoothly turn the page, to the next blank sheet, and look at your question paper, pretending to be in deep thought as to how to write your next answer till they lose interest and go away.

4. Use good english, proper grammer, etc.. Teachers love that.
5. If you know about an exam in advance, it really helps to prepare a few days in advance... Which is actually a lot easier than manipulating the answers, etc etc :P :P :P

All the best, students!

The lazy student's guide to studying.

So its that time of the year again, semester exams looming around, and for others, its some exam or the other, because its that depressing time of the year, before diwali, and before the cheer and jolly of christmas... You have a whole book to study, an entire syllabus to study, but alas! You've been too busy dancing to Beedi Jaleilae, in the rain! (Thank you, Cyclone Nilam!). Now, with a few hours left on the clock, how on Earth are you going to do it?!  Here's a few helpful tips!

10. Open those books.

Yes, thats right. Go ahead. Take that most basic step! Sure, those books may look big and thick and intimidating, and sure, you're going to have people tell you that Rome wasn't built in a day... But remember, you're just a student! That doesn't really apply unless you're studying architecture so crack that book open, take a look at the syllabus, classify what you haven't done and what you have already done. Haven't done anything at all? Well, thats absolutely okay, in this case, classify the things that you can do, and the things that you can afford to omit.

9. Study smart, instead of hard-

Since you have very little time left to study, you have no choice but to study smart. This would also involve being realistic about your expectations, you can't expect to study the entire book in one night! You have to pick out topics that you can cover, study, understand, remember and recall. Pick out topics that need not be studied
(NOTE: Exercise discretion! Some teachers might even be sadistic and try to ask twisted questions from obscure portions in order to make life difficult for students like us, who may have to resort to last minute studying).

8. Prepare your study space

Sit at a proper study table. Make sure its clean and all your books and study material are neatly stacked and arranged on that table. Make sure that its not prone to distractions and remember, mess creates stress. (Besides, really, one of the world's most annoying feelings is to be studying something, put it down, lose it and never see it ever again, even though you could've sworn you put it on your desk for just a second....)

 Stay as neat as you can while studying, a calm mind absorbs information better than a hassled mind or a disturbed mind. Keep your pen, pencil, etc, by your side. Don't ever get up in the middle of studying in order to get one of these things, this will make you prone to distractions.

Which brings me to my next point.

7. Say NO to distractions!

This involves
a) Putting your cellphone away.
b) Logging out of Facebook.
b) Disconnecting your wifi connection
c) Closing the windows
d) Locking your room door
e) Putting away that interesting novel that's just calling out to you to read it...

As sad and as difficult as this step is, its absolutely essential to push all your distractions away in order to study and retain information effectively.

6. Call your friends up

But not to ask them how much they've finished. Discuss topics with them, ask questions, you'll remember their explanations when it comes to last minute studying. (NOTE: Don't waste time asking people if they've studied or not or if they've finished studying. 95% of the people fib that they haven't studied at all and they're generally the ones with smug chimp like grins on their faces when the results are announced. This is war. Its each man for himself!)

5. Don't waste too much time on the phone

As tempting as it may be to find out if Sita dumped Rakesh or if Rakesh kissed Sonia, it can WAIT! You have a lot of studying to do! Try to keep the conversations as short as is required and hang up quickly, try not to give your poor parents a heart attack with the phone bill ;)

4. Prioritize

Decide what has to be done, what need not be done, and don't waste time doing anything else. Stick to the plan. When you make a plan, don't start doubting it half way. Thats the worst possible thing that you could do. Make sure you have a concrete study plan that you can rely on, and stick to it to get the job done.

3. Know HOW to study

For those of you who are lucky enough to have important questions or a set of guide questions, remember that each question does not require pages and pages of answers, study precisely what the question requires you to answer


2. Resort to creative methods of studying.

Lets face it, you don't really have the time to mug up the entire syllabus, so while you learn, have some fun! Watch videos, conduct experiments, ask questions, do extra reference relating to your field of study. It makes the absorption and retention of information, both fun and rewarding!

The last and the most invaluable tip would be

1. DON'T SIT AND MAKE BLOG POSTS ABOUT STUDYING IN THE TIME IN WHICH, YOU CAN ACTUALLY STUDY :P

Coming up next....

The Lazy Student's Guide to acing exams! The most valuable secrets: REVEALED! Stay tuned... ;)

I dare you to dream!

DISCLAIMER!!!

THIS IS NOT A SHITTY MOTIVATIONAL INSPIRATIONAL BULLSHIT POST.

There. Now, that we've got that past us, here's a simple challenge, I'd like to throw at YOU, beloved reader.

I dare you to dream.

No, I'm not going to tell you to follow your dreams, i'm not going to tell you to dare TO dream.... its a dare FOR you to dream. No you're not a unique snowflake. Get over it. Take up the dare.

I dare you to step outside your comfort zone and to actually take up something you've never done before.

I dare you to not get discouraged when you try to make a point and someone tells you to shut up.

I dare you to keep going! Even if everyone laughs at what you're doing and tells you "You'll never make it."

I dare you to speak. God gave you a voice. Use it. I dare you to channel your anger against people who deserve it as opposed to people who don't.

I dare you to try something new. Sing a song, even if cats cry when you sing. Draw, even if a kindergarten kid gets a better drawing grade than you. Play the guitar, even if you don't own one....

The whole point of this post is, that people automatically associate dare to dream, with images like this

or this...

or maybe even this...

But sometimes, the inspirational stuff always goes over your head... If I was depressed and somebody tried to show me those kind of images to inspire me, I would most probably learn to not turn to that same person the next time I needed a shoulder to cry on.

Inspiration doesn't come from images and text, its impossible to draw inspiration from that.

You can only dream and be inspired, most effectively, by example. There are some people who are inspired by their favourite celebrities... I say, good for you buddy, but you'd most probably do better to look for inspiration much closer to you. Inspiration doesn't come from great people who claim to have achieved things, inspiration can come from little things. Things that other people may take for granted. Small words of encouragement, tiny pearls of hope, scattered on the sands of time... Quick! Pick them up before they roll away!

I still remember this simple quote, that inspires me till date. I put this quote before all that I do and I have spread the word to at least 5 other people. (I consider that a huge success.)

"The toughest steel has to go through the hottest of fires."

In the end, the sad fact that even if you're inspired to dare to dream or to follow your dreams, the system is pretty messed up and you may not achieve your dream in the first shot. What system am I referring to? Any system really. I'm pretty confident when I say that This is applicable to any system you might have in mind.

So what do we do when we want to bend, but the system tells us to be rigid? You make the system bend with you, thats what you do. You move. Thats the trick, keep constantly moving. The system will move with you, trying its hardest to stop you, but it won't be able to, beyond a point. It is at this point, you can confidently say that you have followed your dreams and will be catapulted towards being free from the pointless ramshackles of society.

I'd like to end this with a quote about perspective.

"We're all lying in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars"

- Oscar Wilde.

Cocktail twirl of thoughts

Its 4 in the afternoon and my mind is in a daze. I know that some people may not exactly consider this the best time to blog, especially since, i'm half sleepy, half awake and thoughts are randomly swirling around my head like somebody is lazily stirring them around with a cocktail stirrer...

I'm supposed to be working on the introductory paper of my project review topic... but my mind is absolutely blank... Hence, me blogging about the blankness in my mind....

**stares blankly at screen**

Ohh yeah.... Today is supposed to be friendship day.... But honestly, should this post be about that? As my facebook status quotes, I love my friends and let them know it, all year round, not just on one particular sunday in a year :). I think certain days dedicated to people are a good idea, because its a way of letting them remember how special they are (ex-mother's day, teacher's day..) but what i'm against, is the mindless commercialisation of these days. I don't need to see a gooey happy mother's day commercial two weeks before the damn thing to go

**watches commercial**

**snaps fingers!**

Oh right! Its mother's day! I just remembered that i love my mom! So i have to prove it to her..

**Runs to store to buy mushy gooey card and overpriced item of some sort**

Kid:Happy mother's day mommy.

Mom: Awwwww **tears in her eyes**

Kid:Phew...

Bah...

In my opinion, if you love somebody, show it to them, every chance you get. Throw your arms around him or her and hug him/ her tight, for no apparent reason. Kiss them on the cheek if you have the guts. An unexpected hug is the best type of hug.

If you really love somebody, grab every single opportunity you get to show them that. Whether its buying them something they've been needing, or gifting them something that they've been wanting. Go ahead. Take the plunge. In fact, it may not even be something material that the person wants. Handmade gifts and little things that show the person you care always go that extra mile. Cause they show that YOU went that extra mile.

Life's too short to hate anybody. Love with all your heart. Fall down. Fall hard. Get hurt. Pick yourself up. Keep going. Thats what life's all about isn't it?

Treading (un)familiar waters

I know I haven't blogged in an awfully long time, but somehow, i feel compelled to, now. Let my readers know that i'm still here. Still alive n kickin.

Well, although I currently have a cold and am slightly sore, I have a lot going for me. I've joined a course in journalism in one of Chennai's best colleges, so YAY! :D

College,(thankfully) is nothing like school. It can get dull, and I've had a few ups and downs but on the whole, (no matter how much I crib), I am completely in love with this place.

Another thing that's new to me is a fact that its an all girls college. I was doubting how I would find an environment like that, but the strange thing is, it's even better than the last co-ed environment I was in. Yes, i do have those moments where i go "It would be super cool if ____(insert guy friend's name here) was here with me right now", but on the whole, it isn't as bad as i thought it would be.

A huge new change is that I have to be up at 5 every day :/. Of course, countless assaults on the snooze button give me a generous half an hour to 45 minutes of extra sleep after which, I check the time, drag myself out of bed and brush my teeth and eat my daily bowl of cornflakes.

I hardly rush any more these days. Even though i could show up as late as I liked in school (A friend of mine actually showed up at 9.30 for a 7.30 class,beat that!), I somehow used to rush a lot more. Now, I find myself being comparitively more chilled out. I now travel by the town buses of the chennai streets but luckily for me, my bus shows up every 5-10 minutes and isn't very crowded in the mornings, so so far, so good...

My college is also situated RIGHT next to a mall :P. Yes folks, you read it right! Next to a mall. It's not a great mall, and the food is generally overpriced but we have places to go, if ever we want to bunk college... Most of us prefer to eat in our school canteen, where one fried rice for Rs.30/- can make a good snack for up to three people (who don't eat very much).

That brings me to the aspect of the people. Again, my expectations of meanness, bitchiness, etc etc have fallen short and i'm thankful for that. My lecturers are a bit edgy (and no, I don't mean fashion-wise) as they have to handle a class of 50-odd rambunctious teenage girls, but it's coming along well...

Like I said.... So far, so good....